Elf-Shot

The Austrian Oak's back, not mine. Mine is much smaller, and hurts like hell.
I suspect the cause is thus, I have been Elf/Alf shot!

‘Elf-shot’ is a concept which will need little introduction to students of Anglo-Saxon
culture, and the thrust if not the words of Singer’s statement in his British Academy
lecture of 1919, ‘Early English Magic and Medicine’ (1919–20, 357), will be
familiar:
a large amount of disease was attributed … to the action of supernatural
beings, elves, Æsir, smiths or witches whose shafts fired at the sufferer
produced his torments. Anglo-Saxon and even Middle English literature is
replete with the notion of disease caused by the arrows of mischievous
supernatural beings. This theory of disease we shall, for brevity, speak of as
the doctrine of the elf-shot. The Anglo-Saxon tribes placed these malicious
elves everywhere, but especially in the wild uncultivated wastes where they
loved to shoot at the passer-by.

Elves were thought to be invisible or hard-to-see creatures who shot their
victims with some kind of arrow or spear, thus inflicting a wound or
inducing a disease with no other apparent cause (elfshot). They appear to be
lesser spirits than the Æsir (Odin, Thor, Frigga) deities, but with similar armaments in spears andarrows. … This attack by elves was eventually linked with Christian ideas of
demons penetrating or possessing animals and people, who then needed
exorcism."
Ohhhhh...So That's what's going on with my back! Well at least that's what it feels like..I guess I better make right with the Alfs/elves so they knock this shit off.

So yesterday I wrote of my heinous back pain, I went for a nice massage, which helped calm me down, but still the nasty little spear man was jabbing me to death. I tried to watch the tube while not thinking about how uncomfortable it all was just trying to relax, but gave up. Chronic pain is exhausting, if you have experienced it you know what I mean.
It sucks all life and energy and hope out of you. It's like being hunted down, chased for miles and never really getting to rest. Or at least that's how I see it.
So I ate a handful of ibuprofen and laid in bed wishing I could die.
Finally after a crappy night of not much sleep it was time to go see The Dr. and see what could be done. I explained to her the situation with my back, and ribcage, the pain etc..Did I have a slipped disc? Did I need an MRI I can't afford? X-rays? A shot of tiger tranquilizers maybe..

'No," she explained "that I needed a good rib crunching, to put the ribs back into position, cold packs, REST, and a deep massage from the lovely and Mighty Alicia." So crack me she did.
I have to say Iam sore, but the truly deep evil pain is subsiding, just like she said it should.
She stressed the REST part, not even light yoga, certainly not laundry shlepping, blacksmithing, bodybuilding, or lifting anything heavier than a cup of tea or a cold beer.
She was even dubious about me doing dishes.
So the amazing Hubbinator has been handling the heavy stuff today, like mucking out the cat boxes, hauling the heavy laundry basket, bringing me tea..it's all very swell.
He is being very wonderful through this whole ugly episode, while I watch a Time Team marathon and drink green tea while lying on a frozen hunk of beef roast.
Pain relief and dinner thawed in one! Amazing!
Okay time for more cold pack, and another cup of tea. Here's hoping this all starts mending up, and I can get some damn sleep. I will also be sure to honor the Land Spirits more often and generously, being Alf shot sucks.