Friday, June 11, 2010

Changes..


Me in the May snow, in Laramie Wyoming after out running a tornado..no Im not kidding.

I think I have like, oh three readers and that's counting my Husband. Im just not a prolific writer, but this months abscence was not my lack of material. May was actually coming along quite wonderfully for things to share. We had a great Beltane/May Day, then went to the Oregon State Draft Horse ploughing competition, so I will write about that, as I got some cool pics.
One day I would love to learn more about handling a team, and actually own a pair, but that's not yet.
All was May, birds were singing, the garden starting to really take off.
Then what I had feared was coming finally came. My Father died from his lung cancer.
He lived long enough to celebrate his 77th birthday on the 3rd. It was almost as if that was the time marker signaling the end. The next day he failed hard, and I was called to come home ASAP. Now I had been begging to come home before this, and indeed we, the Hubby and I, had gone back in Feb. to visit. Iam so glad we did, because that was really the last time he was "all there". The illness started dragging him down after that, and by the end he was not the man he once was. No even a shadow.
My Mother is doing fine, given that her best friend and soul mate has just died. Me, well I cry, but most of the time I'm just getting on with life. That's all I can do, miss him, but live on well. He would never want any of us sitting about being maudlin, he hated that.
The Hubby and I drove back, through raging storm and snow, across the Rocky Mountains, over plains, saw plenty of antelopes, hawks, Golden Eagles, and cows. Lots of cows.We agree, cattle should be the national critter, as they are everywhere. Thought about Pa all the way, but it wasn't until I got home that it all came crashing down emotionally. I sat in my living room looking at daddies picture and just bawled my eyes out. All the the worry and stress of nearly two years of him being sick with cancer washed away with those tears..time to start a new chapter.

2 comments:

Rois said...

I am one of your readers and followers and I love you lots.

Alison said...

Heidi dear friend - my sorrow at your loss of your father. hugs through the aether via the internet. I read your writing here faithfully, and hope that we will have a chance to visit in realtime reallife.

I heard great things about the Draft Horse event, I think Vikki and Pat went there also.