Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Cloudy days...

The above sign was actually built a year ago...it was commissioned by our favorite German butcher shop/deli, The Edelweiss. It took us a this long to finally get a picture of it.
The picture is so damn dark, but that's kind of the mood these days. The National vibe is one of fear and uncertainty.
We muddle along, chin up working on projects, striving forward. It's all too easy to get lost in a spiral of worry and fear. The media injects it into our bloodstream everyday, so Iam going to try(good luck) to avoid the news for a few days. I'm no Pollyanna type, ask anyone, Iam as cynical as they come...But with a touch of optimism. I can't be a complete grouch all the time.
There are things is life so pure and joyful I have to be happy about them.

The only thing is today, on top of the financial shit sandwich we have all been offered, the Doctors have found a mass on my Dad's left lung.
I feel for everyone's financial woes, mine included, but the possibility my Dad might have a tumor trumps all that for me.
So We wait today and tomorrow to see what his test results will be. Iam personally hoping for a benign glob of easily dissolved goo. My Pa is a hard working man who grew up during the Great Depression. He would not want me to sit here and wring my hands in worry, rather, he would want me to work in my smithy. So off I go, but I can't help it if I stop off in the orchard for a good cry, and a chance to breathe the cool fresh fall air.


paula said...

Oh heidi - I'm so very sorry about your dad. I want to say all kinds of comforting things, but I know when the worry has set in it's so difficult to shift - you think you're in control then wham! it kicks you up the butt.

I'm thinking of you all; your dad is so much more important than the trouble all the fat cats have got themselves into. You'll survive whatever, you wouldn't do what you do and believe what you believe if you couldn't. I think it's a shake up call, we were all becoming too greedy and this brings us back to surviving with the things we make, do and grow, and learning to be happy with simple pleasures - just as you already do!
love and hugs to you all...xxx

FrauKlug said...

Thanks so much for the kind words. They do help!
You are so right. The anxiety part of not knowing for sure. I could not get focused at all last week..felt this sinking thing in the pit of my stomach ..and then. Well now we know.
He's being tough and strong, so is my Mom. It's life, one thing after another, some happy, some hard. But that's how it is.
Now we wait and see how much cancer, and what to do to treat him.
Big hugs and love back to you and yours.